Noise Complaints
by Exquisiteliltart
Summary: Someone was quite eager for hurricane Emma to make landfall.


Title: Noise Complaints

Pairing: Regina/Emma  
Rating: NC-17  
Disclaimer: These characters are not my creative property

Summary:Someone was quite eager for hurricane Emma to make landfall.

**A/N: Inspired by Sunday night chat on SQ board – and written for giftofamber as a Christmas Eve bedtime story. **

You could take the evil out of the queen, but apparently taking the queen out of Storybrooke was not recommended. Emma wasn't sure what the proper natural habitat for an Evil Queen was, but the 'Fun City Resort and Casino' was not a thriving ecosystem for the likes of Regina.

Gold and his nefarious scheming had culminated in a cross- country road trip in search of Henry. The ransom note had marked Madison, Wisconsin as the named location to meet, but it turned out 3 days and countless fights too late that Gold had been playing Regina and Emma the whole time. Henry was tucked away safe at Granny's playing video games and eating his weight in cheese fries. Perhaps Gold wanted to get the Savior and The Queen out of town. Maybe he wanted to experiment on what happened when someone crossed the town line, but mainly he was just being a difficult jerk.

It was a pretty shitty thing to do by all accounts, but none the least that Regina and Emma were stuck in a crappy hotel room in Iowa. Road tripping with Regina was the worst, especially with the amount of stress and fear they had experienced over their shared son. Now that they knew Henry was safe, Regina took her anger out on every person they encountered. Every stop at a gas station or diner was an ordeal. Regina demanding brie cheese when they only had string: "String isn't even a flavor of cheese!"

Emma half expected the snotty woman to ask her to spoon feed her. It was exhausting; especially considering Emma had done all of the driving. Regina had tried, but it was quickly discovered that Regina didn't know what 'cruise control' even was let alone how to set it and her road rage was unmatched. That Evil middle finger shot up at anyone who dared pass the Queen and Emma had gotten a headache from listening to the horn blare.

Oh, and not to mention the unbearable and growing sexual tension between them. That was a major issue too. Why Regina had to be so snotty, stubborn and damned bloody regal was not the greatest complaint Emma had. It was why Regina had to be so startlingly beautiful, her lips so full, and her damned ass so round and squeezable? Also, why Regina didn't know how to button a shirt all the way up, Emma never had to guess at what color bra housed her perfect assets.

Fun City was anything but, Regina refused to go bowling or swimming. She had lost five measly dollars at the slots and refused to gamble anymore. Now they were stuck in the hotel room. Emma had just returned from the vending machine with their dinner. Of course, Regina was sitting on the bed complaining about the softness of the mattress. Of course, there was only one bed in the crappy hotel room, and of course, Emma was at the very end of her patience. She was exhausted from driving and worry. Mostly, she felt thoroughly fatigued from being so exceptionally painfully close to Regina 24/7.

"Eat your Rold Gold's, drink your Pepsi and watch some TV. Henry is fine so you can stop worrying. We'll head home tomorrow and kill Gold together. Does that make you feel any better?" Emma commanded as if she were the parent and Regina the whiny child.

Regina crossed her arms and pushed Emma's hand away turning her head and pouting. "I don't want those processed cardboard sticks. I want real food."

"And I want to take a shower," Emma needed some space, even if the very tiny bathroom was all she could get.

"Fine. And yes, you do need a shower, Ms. Swan."

"Watch TV," Emma called over her shoulder as she marched away and entered the crappy bathroom.

"Television is so pedestrian," Regina whined and Emma could hear her through the door.

"Wheel of Fortune should be on, just shut up," Emma yelled back. Oh yes, there was definitely tension and it was mounting quickly.

Regina fumbled with the hotel remote. It had been quite some time since she'd actually sat down and watched a program. The hotel had a menu that popped up and she just randomly clicked buttons until something came on. Emma hadn't been in the shower even two minutes, when she heard a strangled sob...or was it a moan? Whatever it was it was loud and coming from the room.

Maybe it was the tiredness or maybe it was just her savior nature, but Emma immediately assumed her Queen was being assaulted. She flung back the shower curtain and skidded across the tile and out into the hotel room stark naked and dripping wet.

"Where's my gun?" She yelled in a frantic voice, her eyes wild and half clouded from the water. Regina swallowed, shifted on the bed and blinked between the TV screen and the feral naked Emma that was now standing and dripping before her. Her cheeks colored crimson as she fumbled with the remote, but her effort only served to turn up the volume on the lesbian porn she had inadvertently order on pay per view.

Emma looked around confused, the room was empty, and Regina was where she had left her on the edge of the bed. She glanced at the TV that had increased in volume. When she realized what she was watching she covered her chest and crossed her legs, "Oh my God Regina, I thought you were being murdered out here!"

"Clearly," Regina said glumly unable to look at anything but the ceiling. The ceiling was safe.

"What the hell are you watching?" Emma forgot her own nudity for a moment, becoming completely amused with Regina's embarrassment.

"I was trying to find 'Wheel of Fortune' and this just…popped up," she said weakly. There were no letters being called, or wheels being spun, no prize puzzles to speak of and that was definitely not Pat Sajack on the TV.

The moaning was reaching a fever pitch. A hot blonde with huge boobs was going to town on a brunette. Blonde hair whipped back and forth franticly between the brunette's legs as they both writhed and screamed in unadulterated pleasure.

"Turn it off!" Regina held out the remote to Emma blindly still averting her eyes, and practically begging her to make the scary naked howling lesbians disappear.

Emma took the remote, but instead of switching it off she casually sat down on the bed next to the brunette and leaned forward in rapt attention.

"I gotta see how this ends," Emma smiled playfully, delighting in Regina's complete and total mortification.

"We are not sitting here with you in this state of...undress and watching filth, Ms. Swan. Go get a towel and please just turn it off!"

"Ooh, here come the toys!" Emma grinned as Regina continued to sit frozen in place. "That's a huge dildo...whatever will she do with it?"

Regina's eyes snapped up to the TV in curiosity and Emma's smile grew wider.

"Oh, _that's_ what she did with it," Emma raised her eyebrows, keeping half her attention on the porn where the blonde was now riding an obscenely large dildo while the brunette happily thrust it into her.

"Do lesbians really do _that_? With _those_?" Regina asked her face scrunching and then tilting to the side to fully take in the angled view.

"It appears that the lesbians do in fact do_ that_ with_ those_, if this movie is in any way accurate," Emma replied knowingly.

"It looks almost...painful," Regina had sat up fully and was now leaning in to watch the movie along with Emma.

"You've never experienced _that_ before?" Emma asked quickly, her own cheeks coloring at the audacity of her question, but what the hell? She was naked and watching porn with the woman she'd been secretly crushing on for months.

"Certainly not...I'm not... that way inclined...I don't think anyhow," The brunette's answer was decidedly uncertain.

"Whatever 'that way' is- that blonde sure seems to enjoy it. Look how hard she's bouncing on it."

"Oh..." Regina sat back and gasped as the blonde squirted several times in quick succession.

"What a talent," Emma said drily noticing Regina's apparent fascination.

"I think I'm traumatized."

"So you've never done that either?" Emma was getting bolder even though she knew Regina's response would most assuredly be 'no'. She might earn herself a hard slap to the face as well.

Regina didn't reply at all. Instead she faced the very corporeal naked blonde in her hotel room, and licked her lips letting her eyes slide over the droplets of water coating Emma's fair skin. The feelings were mutual Emma realized as a fog descended over her mind, "Maybe we could turn this off and try a few of those things ourselves?"

"But Miss. Swan, I thought you wanted to see the ending so very desperately?"

"I forgot to pack my giant dildo, but I'm sure there are plenty of things we could try. If you want to, I mean…" Emma fidgeted suddenly feeling nervous and lust-dazed. Regina was a lot of woman to handle and what if Emma's performance didn't yield the same apparently mind-blowing results as the actresses were experiencing in the film?

"I think I'd like to try a few things...with you," Regina's voice was low almost like a pleasant buzz that hit Emma straight between the legs.

Her thoughts preoccupied with dancing visions of what exact things she could try with Regina, Emma almost didn't notice that the remaining buttons of Regina's blouse had come undone, and the shirt was being slid off square muscled shoulders. When the pants joined the shirt in a crumpled heap at the foot of the bed, things got a bit hazy for Emma. Regina pounced on her like a cat in heat.

Their first kiss was extremely memorable. Especially, the way full red lips brushed reverently against pink and then wetly came together in exploration. Regina's tongue was hot and soft and even more than the blonde had hoped to imagine. The kiss was more than either woman had ever imagined a kiss being. The kissing of lips gave way to kissing of necks and clavicles and hands roaming and embracing one another.

Emma's greedy lips latched onto Regina's pert red nipple and the moan that was elicited was far more sensual than any sound the women in the video would have hoped to make. All Emma knew was she needed to hear it again, and moans falling from Regina's perfect lips sounded even better with a sultry nipple sucked between her lips.

And if that was the noise that she made when a mere nipple was sucked and nibbled and sucked again, then what would happen if- oh, what would happen if Emma sucked other places? Exquisite and mysterious places! What noises and insinuations of pleasure would Regina's body give then? She didn't know but she couldn't wait to find out. So she enthusiastically spelunked her way down Regina's body

The porn reached its crescendo, all parties seemingly satisfied and the screen went black. Now the real porn was heating up. Emma took the opportunity to admire the fine form before her: her eyes screwed shut and head thrown back, hair mussed, and hands gripping the covers as if she was tethering herself in anticipation of some sort of natural disaster.

This was going to be Emma's finest and most beloved memory and she took another moment to sear it into her mind. She stroked the tops of Regina's thighs and watched in amazement as they parted with her touch. Someone was quite eager for hurricane Emma to make landfall.

And what a wet and wild storm she was! Emma couldn't waste any more time teasing, and judging by the now slightly impatient angry face staring down at her, Regina was through with the teasing too.

Emma looked appreciatively at the offering at hand. She swept in and took a small taste of the plentiful wetness that was the demanding woman's essence. It was divine. She savored her flavor, taking long slow licks up and down the lips of her pussy, and then spreading open to taste deeper.

The reaction was immediate and quite pleasing. The brunette let out a long keening sigh, and then another before her breath became labored and ragged under the current ministrations of Emma's tongue and lips. Emma wanted to hear more. She swirled her tongue around Regina's sweet clit, sucking gently and increasing incrementally as she felt the woman adjust to her. She could barely keep her mouth on her as hips started to bounce and buck. Emma let a loving hum of delight escape her and vibrate through her mouth against Regina's clit.

She felt the pressure building as Regina was now thrusting hard and frantic against her, screaming her name as she started to cum. It was then that Emma added fingers. She teased her saturated entrance and pushed in hard, and felt Regina bear down around her instantly. Her fingers were surrounded by warm wet velvet as she flexed and pulsed inside.

The orgasm was mind blowing, going off of how hard inner walls clenched around her driving fingers and the sheer volume and breathiness of Regina's cries. She blurted something that sounded like 'I love you" or "fuck me", but Emma wasn't sure which. In that moment she couldn't bother to dwell on it as her senses were overloaded by the pure blinding heaven that was Regina's cumming pussy.

When Regina finally stopped flailing and screaming, Emma stilled her fingers and slowly pulled out, she was more reluctant to bring her lips away, taking a few more gentle tastes and then resting her chin on Regina's stomach to admire her handiwork. They didn't get but a moment to stare at each other longingly before a sharp knock sounded on the door.

"Who in the hell is that?" Emma stood up shakily; her knees were just not cooperating with her short-circuited brain.

"Coming..." She yelled when the knock came again.

Regina hopped under the covers, pulling them up over her head to hide. Her body was brimming with endorphins and she was in no mood for any company other than her personal savior and her special brand of 'saving'.

Emma yanked on a tank and a pair of panties before cracking the door open with a curious smirk. Unable to forget what she had just been doing and where her mouth had been she wiped her lips with the back of her hand.

"Yes?" Her voice was rough, but it was as polite as she could manage considering the rather rude timing of the interruption. The man on the other side of the door was wearing a hotel name badge that read "Ken".

"Sorry to disturb you, Miss, but we had..."

"Noise complaints, really?" Emma scoffed.

"Erm… not exactly."

"Then what is it?"

"Requests from the neighboring rooms," Ken was nervous, his hands shaking lightly as he read the messages scrawled on the post its he held.

"Look, we'll try to keep the noise down, but we paid for this room just like anybody else and we intend to use it..." Emma was still not fully listening to him.

Ken read the message in his unforgiving monotone, "Can the loud one call out "Sally" when she climaxes next, please? Regards, room 223." Ken continued flipping the notes, "I'd like to hear more of the screaming, though the moaning was good too... and more noise from the other participant, please. Thanks, room 226."

"What? That room is all the way down the hall...how could they possibly hear us?" Emma was at a loss for words.

"Well, my desk is on below you on the first floor and I most definitely heard...everything," Ken's lip twitched in an extremely pervy way as he eyed Emma's breasts through her tank top.

He read the last message, "That was great! Was she squirting? Please say yes! And next time can we have more banging against the headboard. Loved the performance! Room 321."

"That's from the room above?" Emma asked in disbelief.

"Yep... okay, well thank you for your time, and my work here is done. On behalf of Fun City have a lucky night, and your adult movie has been compensated by the hotel as a thanks for providing entertainment to our guests," Ken saluted and headed quickly back down the hall. Emma slammed the door and leaned against it with a sigh. Regina peeked out from under the covers her eyes alone conveying her pure horror.

"Wow, we're like porn stars or something. I was so good we got requests!" Emma was suddenly very pleased with herself.

"Requests? Not complaints?" Regina had missed all of the interaction between Emma and Ken.

"Room 321 wants squirting, and squirting is what we're going to give them," Emma ripped off her clothes and tackled Regina ready to fulfill all of the requests for the neighboring rooms.


End file.
